Beloved
get me out
no one knows
but her
how does she know
she can’t possibly
relate
but I can see it
in her stare
in her knowing
glance
in the fervor
of her countenance
she sees within
me
which scares me
to death
can I pretend
she isn’t there
how could anyone
call this beloved?
but there she is again
coming back for more
for one more listen to my song
for one more singalong
for one more stare
into my soul
I don’t dare
ask her what
she knows
from the King
I can barely
bare the stare
that I secretly,
desperately
want her to share
to linger with me
in the dark
one second longer
before I get well
before we make way
for the children
do the work
to tarry
one more moment
in lock-stare
through it all
that’s my beloved
Don’t we all just truly want a love that goes with us to the bottom? Just being there. No expectation to get somewhere? Just to sing along with our sad song? Until we’ve had enough
Until it’s time to triumph
Until it’s time to get up and do the work
Until we have the capacity to go on
Don’t we all just want someone who’s willing to sit along— not rushing us on our journey,
but deeply, honestly abiding?
Someone who will walk with us at our own pace
Bearing with our soul
Until we’re ready to be cheered on
Until we’re ready to make something of ourselves
But don’t we all just want someone who loves and accepts us for who we are?
No conditions
Only full acceptance of everything we are
Not hoping we’ll change
Be better
Or graduate
Or even escalate
Just someone who is willing to remain
With us through the hard parts
Willing to be perplexed
Just as perplexed as us
Someone who will look at it all
And not look for more
Someone who will see every scar
Every mark
And say, “You’re beautiful.”
Someone who’s not looking at our “potential”
But who sees us for who we really are
And is mesmerized
Stunned
Wondering if we’re really real
Their other half
Seeing
Understanding
Why we’re made
Just this way
With design
Intention
Down to the flaw
Someone who’s fit for this walk with us
Someone who will lay there
In the flower field
And just look at the clouds
Count the stars
Be with us
Through all the parts
Maybe it’s just me
“No Place Better (Psalm 84)” by Caroline Cobb
